twinkle

Lyrics

while you were asleep, pulled my hood to block the light from the tv, turned the volume up to distract me from constant noises, leaking under the apartment door, it doesn't help, i get up and i crawl out and don't hear more, make a barricade of full trash bags and empty boxes, perched behind them, closely watching, while you were asleep, on the couch, watching a movie, smoking weed, rummaging through the utensils in the kitchen counter, in the drainer, which one's sharper, when the light creeps in, loosen my grip and crawl back into my bed, your alarm is set to go off in a half an hour, eyes closed. fake snore. none the wiser, victoria made me happy, now i can only be scared, and people tell me that time can fix the wound, but that's crap, 'cause she's not coming back, and life's unfair, i'm always anxious and worried, i'm always freaked out and scared, and people tell me that time can fix the wound, but that's crap, vicki's not coming back, and i scream, "why did i get left behind?", i know it's an exaggeration, to say i would rather die than, share this place with people capable, of inspiring such fear and hopelessness, that i'm frozen in my bed. but that sums it up, teenage halloween, hot safety pins in nozzles of shaving cream, spend the evening spraying cars, toilet papering houses, what's the harm in smashing pumpkins?, decades on, with kids, and i don't let them go out past dark, i sit on the front porch with a shotgun, while they're upstairs sleeping, total darkness, love. protection