Tv Weather Guy

Lyrics

My father was a lawyer, mom's at university  
My brother and my sister, they both have their Ph.D.  
My grampa was a pilot shooting Nazis from t he sky  
But I am the most famous, I'm a TV weather guy  
  
He smiles at the camera and tells a little joke  
H e always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke  
Thinks a meteorologist knows what falls from the sky  
But he's got a steady income as a TV weather guy  
  
They said that I'm not qualified to be on the TV  
Don't know Celsius from Fahrenheit so I just say degrees  
I just read the temperatures and make up a bunch of lies  
And end up being right more than the guy on channel five  
  
He smiles at the camera and tells a little joke  
He always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke  
Thinks cloud are made from cotton that have blown up to the sky  
But he's got a steady income as a TV weather guy  
  
On Saturdays I must be out of bed by five A.M.  
Put on a ton of make-up and then stare at the camera lens  
Greeting all the viewers with a "Hi-hi-hip-hello!"  
'Cause it's the day I have to host a kiddie cartoon show  
  
He smiles at the camera then to his puppet sock  
He raves about the crayon drawings of the family dog  
Did a promo at the shopping mall and made the children cry  
He's a lousy clown but a good TV weather guy  
  
They said that I'm not cute enough to be an anchorman  
Not tough enough for sports and for the arts I was too bland  
But I know that some day I will reach my TV goal  
When I guest star on Baywatch or 90210  
  
'Til then I'll smile at the camera and tell a little joke  
He always says it's sunny if the telestrator's broke  
He wonders why big storms are always named for other guys  
But he's got a steady income as a TV weather guy  
He's got a steady income as a TV weather guy!