Trials And Tribulations

Lyrics

The Swiss Miss Girl made her fortune  
Doing commercials on tv  
But "Easy come, easy go" was  
Her philosophy  
She spent all of her money  
She was searching for some cash  
So she went to her friend Capt 'n Crunch  
Whom she'd met at a Hollywood bash  
  
The second that he saw her  
He said, "I bet you're in need  
Of some dough"  
Perplexed and confused she asked him,  
"Oh but Captain how did you know?"  
Laughingly he responded,  
"It was really just a lucky hunch"  
With tears in her eyes she pleaded,  
"Will you help me out Capt 'n Crunch?"  
  
The trials and tribulations  
Of the Swiss Miss Girl  
She's got a famous reputation  
And she's known throughout the world  
But life's no bed of roses  
She would change things if she could  
She plans to make a brand new start  
And move out of Hollywood  
  
The Captain now was grinning  
He felt he had her in the palm of his hand  
He said, "Darlin' you're a penniless woman  
And I'm a wealthy man"  
You know the rules of the game by now  
I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine  
He said, "Let me take you out  
And we'll talk about this  
Over a bottle of wine"  
  
The Swiss Miss Girl was disgusted  
And she smacked him right in his face  
Then she took his hat  
And she stamped on that  
Just to put him in his place  
But the old man was persistent  
He would not be undaunted  
The more that he'd been taunted  
The more she turned him on  
  
Then the Captain made a pass at the Swiss Miss Girl  
Tryin' to show her his affection  
She screamed for help And when she did...  
Mr. Clean came to her protection  
  
The trials and tribulations  
Of the Swiss Miss Girl  
She's got a famous reputation  
And she's known throughout the world  
But life's no bed of roses  
She would change things if she could  
She plans to make a brand new start  
And move out of Hollywood