to keep my love alive

Lyrics

i've been married, and married, and often i've sighed, "i'm never a bridesmaid, i'm always a bride", i never divorced them, i hadn't the heart, yet remember these sweet words, "'till death do us part", i married many men, a ton of them, because i was untrue to none of them, because i bumped off every one of them, to keep my love alive, sir paul was frail, he looked a wreck to me, at night he was a horse's neck to me, so i performed an appendectomy, to keep my love alive, sir thomas had insomnia, he couldn't sleep at night, i bought a little arsenic, he's sleeping now all right, sir philip played the harp, i cussed the thing, i crowned him with his harp to bust the thing, and now he plays where harps are just the thing, to keep my love alive, to keep my love alive, i thought sir george had possibilities, but his flirtations made me ill at ease, and when i'm ill at ease, i kill at ease, to keep my love alive, sir charles came from a sanitorium, and yelled for drinks in my emporium, i mixed one drink, he's in memorium, to keep my love alive, sir francis was a singing bird, a nightingale, that's why, i tossed him off my balcony, to see if he, could fly, sir atherton indulged in fratricide, he killed his dad and that was patricide, one night i stabbed him by my mattress-side, to keep my love alive, to keep my love alive, to keep my love alive