sonia

Lyrics

once upon a time little girl on the grind, met a boy he was nice at the time, weeks from the days, plans they were made, soon you could call them an item, funny how a title makes them think they own you, tellin' you how to dress and who to talk to, fella please don't nobody ask you, my great great granny was born a slave, she found liberation before the grave, who you tellin' how to behave?, oh i'm trying to forgive but can't forget. it was bad, it was bad, it was bad, it was bad, it was the crying that was bad, it was the lying that was bad, it was the blaming that was bad, the self-hating that was bad, it was the waiting that was bad, it was the doubting that was bad, it was the screaming that was bad, the fear of leaving that was bad, once upon a time, i believed in lines, like "i just wasn't good enough for you" and other lies, mr. "didn't miss the water till the well was dry", tried and i tried, compromise, compromise, it was pouring into you while emptying me, it was rationalizing all your toxicity, it was hands around my neck with us on my back, it was pressure, pain, and panic attacks, had me faded to the wire, putting out my fire, use to have requirements that turned into desires, expected to retire me while keeping you inspired, all the women in me are tired, listen nigga, my abuela ain't survive several trips around the sun, so i could give it to somebody's undeserving son, this pussy don't pop for you, booty don't bop for you, never owe none, belong to no one, now i only trust patterns, not apologies, first date questions: what's your ideologies?, do you love yourself? are you healing your trauma?, what's your concept of wealth? do you check on yo mama?, 'cause your loyalty ain't slavery, sis, that shit insulting to her bravery sis, i know you tangled but this life is no exchange for your laboring sis, withhold ya flavors, he unsavory sis, sis, i remember saying no to things that happened anyway, i remember feeling low the mirror took my face away, i couldn't recognize her, i laid and cried 'til my, tears washed the kitchen tiles, i swear i couldn't budge, but then i talked about it 'til momma sister cousin, told me they went thru it and since it's in my blood, i knew i could do it cuz if my blood went thru it, i knew i could endure it, i knew that i could heal it, oh i'm trying to forgive but can't forget. it was bad, it was bad, it was bad, it was bad, it was the crying that was bad, it was the lying that was bad, it was the blaming that was bad, the self-hating that was bad, it was the waiting that was bad, it was the doubting that was bad, it was the screaming that was bad, the fear of leaving that was bad