Smut

Lyrics

I do have a cause, though, it is obscenity. I'm for it! (laughter) Thank you.  
Unfortunately, the civil liberties types who are fighting this issue have to
fight it,  
Owing to the nature of the laws,  
As a matter of freedom of speech and stifling of free expression and so on.  
  
But we know what's really involved: dirty books are fun!  
That's all there is to it.  
But you can't get up in a court and say that,  
I suppose.  
  
It's simply a matter of freedom of pleasure,  
a right which is not guaranteed by the Constitution, unfortunately.  
Anyway, since people seem to be marching for their causes these days,  
I have here a march for mine. It's called:  
  
Smut!  
Give me smut and nothing but!  
A dirty novel I can't shut  
If it's uncut  
And unsubt-le.  
  
I've never quibbled  
If it was ribald.  
I would devour  
Where others merely nibbled.  
  
As the judge remarked the day that he acquitted my Aunt Hortense,  
"To be smut  
It must be ut-  
Terly without redeeming social importance."  
  
Por-  
Nographic pictures I adore.  
Indecent magazines galore,  
I like them more  
If they're hardcore.  
  
Bring on the obscene movies, murals, postcards, neckties, samplers, stained  
Glass windows, tattoos, anything!  
More, more, I'm still not satisfied!  
  
Stories of tortures  
Used by debauchers  
Lurid, licentious and vile,  
Make me smile.  
  
Novels that pander  
To my taste for candor  
Give me a pleasure sublime.  
Let's face it I love slime!  
  
Old books can be indecent books,  
Though recent books are bolder.  
For filth, I'm glad to say,  
Is in the mind of the beholder.  
  
When correctly viewed,  
Everything is lewd.  
I could tell you things about Peter Pan  
And the Wizard of Oz - there's a dirty old man!  
  
I thrill  
To any book like Fanny Hill,  
And I suppose I always will  
If it is swill  
And really fil-thy.  
  
Who needs a hobby like tennis or philately?  
I've got a hobby: rereading Lady Chatterley.  
But now they're trying to take it all away from us unless  
We take a stand, and hand in hand we fight for freedom of the press.  
  
In other words: Smut! I love it.  
Ah, the adventures of a slut.  
Oh, I'm a market they can't glut.  
I don't know what  
Compares with smut.  
Hip, hip, hooray!  
Let's hear it for the Supreme Court!  
Don't let them take it away!