Mary Long

Lyrics

Mary Long is a hypocrite  
She does all the things that she tells us not to do  
Selling filth from a corner shop  
And knitting patterns to the high street queue  
She paints roses, even makes them smell good  
And then she draws titties on the khazy wall  
Drowns kittens just to get a thrill  
And writes sermons in the Sunday Chronicle  
  
How did you lose your virginity, Mary Long?  
When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long?  
  
Mary told Johnny not to write such trash  
Said it was a waste of public money  
She made a fuss, they made apologies  
But everybody thought the show was funny  
When the nation knew you'd had children  
It came as such a surprise  
We really didn't know you'd had it in you  
How you did it we can only surmise  
  
How did you lose your virginity, Mary Long?  
When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long?  
  
Mary Long, you're not alone  
But you're a long way behind our times  
What we do in full frontal view  
Is more honest than your clean-up mind  
What I'm saying, Mary Long is  
When you can spare a minute  
Go find your friend the porny Lord  
Dig your self a hole and jump in it  
  
How did you lose your virginity, Mary Long?  
When will you lose your stupidity, Mary Long?