Love For Sale

Lyrics

Well, I wake up this morning, I rolled out of bed  
I felt like a dog who's been kicked in the head  
Checked out my mail, there was letter that read  
Love for sale, love for sale  
  
I picked up the phone, I called everyone I could  
I let my fingers do the walking through the telephone book  
You can't catch a fish if you ain't got the hook  
Love for sale, love for sale  
  
Send up a signal, throw me a line  
Somebody explain "this funny Valentine"  
It might not be legal but it sure ain't a crime  
I'm one step from crazy and two steps behind  
  
I called Lieutenant Columbo from my TV set  
I've tried the Dating Game, I haven't found her yet  
I'm hoping that she's looking like a Penthouse Pet  
Love for sale, love for sale  
  
We've been living together three years  
Two hours, twenty minutes, maybe four hundred beers  
You can't shop for love when you're shopping at Sears  
Love for sale, love for sale  
  
I guess I've learned my lesson, it was easy to see  
My old lady, she played this joke on me  
I never looked where I forgot it would be  
Love for sale, love for sale