A Token Of My Extreme

Lyrics

L. Ron Hoover:  
Welcome to the First Church of Appliantology! The WHITE ZONE is for loading
and unloading only!  
  
Don't you be Tarot-fied  
It's just a token of my extreme  
Don't you be Tarot-fied  
It's just a token of my extreme  
  
Don't you never try to look behind my eyes  
You don't want to know what they have seen  
Don't you never try to look behind my eyes  
You don't want to know what they have seen  
  
Joe:  
Some people think  
That if they go too far  
They'll never get back  
To where the rest of them are  
I might be crazy  
But there's one thing I know  
You might be surprised  
At what you find out when ya go!  
  
Oh oh oh  
Mystical Advisor  
What is my problem, tell me  
Can you see?  
  
L. Ron Hoover:  
Well, you have nothing to fear, my son!  
You are a Latent Appliance Fetishist,  
It appears to me!  
  
Joe:  
That all seems very, very strange  
I never craved a toaster  
Or a color T.V.  
  
L. Ron Hoover:  
A Latent Appliance Fetishist  
Is a person who refuses to admit to his or herself  
That sexual gratification can only be achieved  
Through the use of MACHINES . . .  
Get the picture?  
  
Joe:  
Are you telling me  
I should come out of the closet now  
Mr. Ron?  
  
L. Ron Hoover:  
No, my son!  
You must go into  
THE CLOSET  
  
Joe:  
What?  
  
L. Ron Hoover:  
And you will have  
  
Joe:  
Eh?  
  
L. Ron Hoover:  
Hey!  
A lot of fun!  
That's where they all live  
So if you want an  
Appliance to love you  
You'll have to go in there  
'N get you one  
  
Joe:  
Well . . . that seems simple enough . . .  
  
L. Ron Hoover:  
Yes, but if you want a really GOOD one,  
You'll have to learn a foreign language . . .  
  
Joe:  
German, for instance?  
  
L. Ron Hoover:  
That's right . . .  
A lot of really cute ones come from over there!  
(Fifty bucks, please)  
  
L. Ron Hoover:  
If you been  
Mod-O-fied,  
It's an illusion, an yer in between  
Don't you be  
Tarot-fied,  
It's just a lot of nothin',  
So what can it mean?  
  
If you been  
Mod-O-fied,  
It's an illusion, an yer in between  
Don't you be  
Tarot-fied,  
It's just a lot of nothin',  
So what can it mean?  
  
If you been  
Mod-O-fied,  
It's an illusion, an yer in between . . .  
  
Central Scrutinizer:  
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER . . . Joe has just learned to speak German.
Now, get this, here's why he did it! He's gonna go to this club on the other
side of town, it's called THE CLOSET . . . And they got these Appliances in
there that really go for a guy dressed up like a housewife who can speak
German (you know what I mean) . . . so Joe's learned how to speak German, he
goes in this place and he sees these little Kitchen Machineries dancing around
with each other, and he sees this one . . . that looks like it's a cross
between an industrial vacuum cleaner and a chrome piggy bank with marital aids
stuck all over its body . . . it's really exciting . . . and when he sees it,
he BURSTS INTO SONG . . .