The Scolding Wife

Lyrics

Well I came into a scolding wife a few short years ago  
And ever since I lead a life of misery and woe  
My wife she is a tyrant around the ??  
Ah I'd sell her to the devil for a glass or two of gin  
  
Sure I'll get up and go to work as mild as any man  
And she'll get up and dress herself and go and have her dram  
And I chance to say a word it's well I know my due  
She'll follow me with the fire shovel up and down the room  
  
[Chorus]  
And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain  
I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again  
And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain  
Though I swear to God I'll hang myself if I get married again  
  
When I get up at breakfast time she'll tap me on the head  
When I come home at dinner time I'll find her drunk in bed  
When I come home at supper time at patience I must stop  
Cause she drinks what's in the teapot and I must drink the slop  
  
[Chorus]  
  
Well once I asked me scolding wife if I could go to bed  
She scare gave me an hour on the pillow to lay me head  
When like a roarin' lion she came bustin' down the door  
She caught me by the middle and threw me naked on the floor  
  
[Chorus]  
  
Now me and my companions go to a public place  
She'll search around the neighborhood until she finds my face  
She'll hoist me up in ridicule before the company  
Sayin' 'Petticoats is your master and forever more shall be'  
  
[Chorus:Repeatx3]