Mr. Bad Example

Lyrics

I started as an altar boy working at the church  
Learning all my holy moves doing some research  
Which led me to a cash box labelled "Children's Fund"  
I'd leave the change and tuck the bills inside my cummerbund  
I got a part-time job at my father's carpet store  
Laying tactless stripping and housewives by the score  
I loaded up their furniture and took it to Spokane  
Auctioned off every last Naugahyde divan  
I'm very well acquainted with the seven deadly sins  
I keep a busy schedule trying to fit them in  
I'm proud to be a glutton and I don't have time for sloth  
I'm greedy and I'm angry and I don't care who I cross  
[CHORUS]  
I'm, intruder in the dirt  
I like to have a good time and I don't care who gets hurt  
I'm, take a look at me  
I'll live to be a hundred and go down in history  
Of course I went to law school and got a law degree  
And counseled all my clients to plead insanity  
Then worked in hair replacement swindling the bald  
Where very few are chosen, fewer still are called  
Then on to Monte Carlo play chemin de fer  
I threw away the fortune I made transplanting hair  
I put my last few francs down on a prostitute  
Who took me up to her room to perform the flag salute  
Whereupon I stole her passport and her wig  
And headed for the airport and the midnight flight, you dig?  
Fourteen hours later I was down in Adelaide  
Looking through the want ads sipping Foster's in the shade  
I opened up an agency somewhere down the line  
To hire aboriginals to work the opal mines  
But I attached their wages and took a whopping cut  
And whisked away their workman's comp and pauperized the lot  
[CHORUS]  
I bought a first class ticket on Malaysian Air  
Landed in Sri Lanka none the worse for wear  
I'm thinking of retiring from all my dirty deals  
See you in the next life, wake me up for meals