Living With A Hernia

Lyrics

All I do is grunt and groan  
Hurts me to walk anywhere  
Went to see my physician, Dr. Jones  
He took my trousers off, told me to cough  
Doctor says there ain't nothin' to discuss  
He tells me any day I might have to wear a truss  
  
Living with a hernia  
All the time, such aggravation  
Living with a hernia  
Gonna be my ruination  
Living with a hernia  
Got to have an operation  
Feel so old  
  
Too much bad pain  
Good gawd, drives me insane  
Can't run, barely crawl  
Got a bulge in my intestinal wall  
Walk real funny, bless my soul  
Can't play tennis and it's hard to bowl  
You can't even do the splits now, better call it quits now  
I'm sick of all this dancin' anyhow  
  
Living with a hernia  
Hurts me bad in a tender location  
Living with a hernia  
Had enough humiliation  
Living with a hernia  
Got to have an operation  
  
I live with a hernia  
Can't get up, can't bend over  
Now I live with a hernia  
Wait a minute  
You may not be familiar with the common types  
Of hernias that you could get  
So just settle down, let me clue you in  
There's incomplete  
Epigastric  
Bladder  
Strangulated  
Lumbar hernia  
Richter's hernia  
Obstructed  
Inguinal and Direct  
  
Living with a hernia . . . Rupture!  
I said it's causin' me such irritation  
Living with a hernia  
Have to have my medication  
Living with a hernia  
I feel bad!