if a girl isn't pretty

Lyrics

, starting in 1910. actually the show starts after she has become a success, on stage and flashes back to her origins. it opens in fanny's dressing room. she is waiting for her husband, nick arnstein, to return after being in prison. she looks back to when she was a 19-year old hopeful. her mother's poker, buddies think she's wasting her life trying to break into show business.], fanny, when people pay good money in the the-ay-ter--, especially the male element--they want something to look at!, if a girl isn't pretty, like a miss atlantic city, all she gets in life, is pity and a pat. is a nose with deviation, such a crime against the nation?, should i throw her into jail, or drown the cat?, she must shine in ev'ry detail, like a ring you're buying retail, be a standard size that, fits a standard dress. when a girl's incidentals, are no bigger than two lentils, then to me that doesn't spell success. fanny auditions for keeney's music hall but keeney kicks, her out of the chorus because she doesn't look like the, others. eddie ryan, dance director for keeney, agrees: if a girl isn't pretty, like a miss atlantic city, she should dump the stage, and try another route. any guy who pays a quarter, for a seat just feels he oughter, see a figger that his wife can't, substitute. kid, my heart ain't made of marble, but your rhythm's really horr'ble, and that map of yours just ain't no, valentine. everything you got's about right, but the damn thing don't come out right, so forget it, kid, and just resign. if a girl isn't pretty, if a girl isn't pretty, if a girl isn't pretty, if a girl isn't pretty, if a girl isn't pretty, she should get a job, go get a job--, get any job, get a weekly pay, 'cause if a girl isn't pretty, like a miss atlantic city, she's a real miss nobody, u.s.a.