I Ain't Been Anywhere

Lyrics

I was sittin' at home just a-listenin' to my radio  
An' along came a fella who apparently had been on the go  
Well, he started in a-braggin' 'bout ev'rywhere he'd been  
And there isn't any place in this whole world he hasn't seen  
You ask me where I've been, an' I'm a-going to tell you, Pard  
Why, I ain't even been outside the gate in my backyard  
  
I ain't been anywhere, Joe  
I ain't been anywhere, Joe  
I didn't want to go, so  
I guess I'll never know, Joe  
An old stick in the mud, Bud  
I ain't been anywhere  
  
I ain't seen London, Paris, Washington, Chicago,  
Bombay, Mandalay, Calgary, Cashmere,  
Thailand, Ireland, Iceland, Greenland,  
Halifax, Poland, Switzerland, Scotland,  
Liverpool, Dry Gulch, Tombstone, Moscow,  
Carlsbad, Leningrad, Stalingrad, too bad!  
  
I ain't been anywhere, Joe  
I ain't been anywhere, Joe  
I didn't want to go, so  
I guess I'll never know, Joe  
An old stick in the mud, Bud  
I ain't been anywhere  
  
Siam, Amsterdam, Oslo, Rotterdam,  
Birmingham, Tokyo, Melbourne, Saigon,  
Trinidad, Hong Kong, Florida, Reykjavik,  
Copenhagen, Berlin, Congo, Key West,  
Petersburg, Wallisburg, Cherbourg, Luxemburg,  
Chalush, Toronto, Cripple Creek, I am sick!  
  
I ain't been anywhere, Joe  
I ain't been anywhere, Joe  
I didn't want to go, so  
I guess I'll never know, Joe  
An old stick in the mud, Bud  
I ain't been anywhere  
  
Kumquat, Limerick, Inverness, Loch Ness,  
Swansea, Cuanda, Colombo, Gold Coast,  
Edinburgh, Singapore, Galveston, Okinawa,  
Blarney, Killarney, Karachi, Pyongyang,  
Warsaw, Tarancan, Down, Libya,  
Goose Bay, Labrador, Outer Space, no place!  
  
I ain't been anywhere, Joe  
I ain't been anywhere, Joe  
I didn't want to go, so  
I guess I'll never know, Joe  
An old stick in the mud, Bud  
I ain't been anywhere  
  
Ohio, Toledo, Wexford, Frankfurt,  
Silverton, Norfolk, Alamo, Sabula,  
Brighton, Kiowa, Denmark, Dover,  
Chalis, Rio, Lima, Philippines,  
Hebrides, Hawaii, Portland, Cleveland,  
Leipzig, Laramie, Horsehair, nowhere!  
  
I ain't been anywhere, Joe  
I ain't been anywhere, Joe  
I didn't want to go, so  
I guess I'll never know, Joe  
An old stick in the mud, Bud  
I ain't been anywhere  
  
Wait a minute! Horsehair!  
Why, doggone it, that's my hometown  
So I guess I must 'a' been there, huh?  
  
I ain't been anywhere!