Farmer's Almanac

Lyrics

Well, the farmer prayed for a better year  
And the crops were good like the Lord did hear  
But his barn burned down with winter near  
The answer came in white and black  
In the farmer's almanac, it says  
'If a man could have half his wishes he could double his trouble'  
  
A sweet old lady was eighty-four  
When her kinfolks came for a month or more  
Now from overwork she's on the other shore  
Much too late was y'all come back  
And it says in the farmer's almanac, it says  
'Visitors and fish smell after three days'  
  
Our leader was a silver tongued man  
He deceived the people of the land  
And when he got caught he couldn't stand  
It's a little off-beat and a little off-track  
But it says in the farmer's almanac, it says  
'In rivers and bad government the lightest things flow to the top'  
  
Rod said, "I don't believe in God"  
Rod died and lies beneath the sod  
For God did not believe in Rod  
Life is a troubled and a weary track  
But it says in the farmer's almanac, it says  
'Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death'  
  
The little boy followed the honeybee  
And it flew straight to the honey tree  
He got stung but got the honey free  
Consolation for the things you lack  
Is in the farmer's almanac, it says  
'God gives us the darkness so we can see the stars'  
  
He came home three hours late from work  
Said, "I had a flat and fell in the dirt"  
She said, "You gotten lipstick on your shirt"  
Well it turned out like Jill and Jack  
And it says in the farmer's almanac, it says  
'Lies have to be covered up, truth can run around naked'  
  
He said, "Honey, you know I'm true  
I just look at other women that's all I do"  
Then she caught him with her best friend Peggy Sue  
Sometimes some women will look back  
And it says in the farmer's almanac, it says  
'There's a lot of difference in window shoppin' and shop liftin''  
  
I sat down at a shoeshine stand  
I had a real slow shoeshine man  
I said you don't pop that rag like some of 'em can  
He looked at me and then he sat right back  
It says in the farmer's almanac, it says  
'The trouble with the world today is  
There's too much poppin' and not enough shinin''