Confessions Part Iii

Lyrics

Watch this  
  
These are my confessions  
Just when I thought I said all I could say I came up with more secrets to tell
you today  
These are my confessions  
Slip my mind the last two times  
Silly me, so now I gotta give you part three of my confessions  
First I told you about the skank that I was cheating with, then I mentioned
she's having my kid  
That's not all, now I recall more you see, so I'll give you part three of my
confessions  
  
Now this is gonna be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do,  
Gonna tell you everything I left out of parts one and two  
Like remember when I told you that I knew Paulie Shore (Paulie Shore)  
That's a lie, I don't know what I said that for  
I borrowed your chapstick (from you)without asking  
Oh and I tried out your nose hair trimmer (too)  
And by the way your diamond ring is cubic zirconium,  
I killed your goldfish accidently, just replaced it with another one  
  
These are my confessions  
Just when I thought I said all I could say I need to get some things off my
chest right away  
These are my confessions  
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part
three of my confessions  
Threw up on your dog last time I had too much to drink  
There have been times when I've peed in your sink  
Don't know why, but you and I should agree that belongs in part three of my
confessions  
  
Baby forgive me I'm still trying to figure out why I used your toothbrush to
clean off the bathroom grout  
Oh and sometimes in private, really like to dress up as Shirley Temple and
spank myself with a hockey stick (hockey stick)  
My boss thinks I'm a jerk, didn't get that raise.  
I haven't changed my underwear in twenty-seven days!  
And when I'm kissing you I fantasize you're a midget  
I'm so sorry Debbie! I mean Bridget!  
  
These are my confessions  
Just when I thought I said all I could say I got a few more secrets I'd like
to convey  
These are my confessions  
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part
three of my confessions  
Gave you buttered toast I dropped and picked up off the floor  
Fyi it was not a cold sore  
Ooops my bad, but you'll be madder at me when I finish part three of my
confessions  
  
You don't know how hard it is for me to tell you this, but you remember that
shirt you got me for my birthday?  
Well, I returned it for store credit. That thing was hideous, what were you
thinking?  
Oh and by the way, I wasn't really sick last week,  
I just didn't wanna go to your stupid office picnic  
Oh and when I told you at breakfast we were all out of rice krispies,  
What I meant was that there was only enough left for me. Sorry.  
  
These are my confessions  
Just when I thought I said all I could say, I thought of some more things that
should scare you away  
These are my confessions  
Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me, I guess I gotta give you part
three of my confessions  
Once I blew my nose and then I wiped it on your cat  
And I lied, yes that dress makes you look fat  
Anyway, I shouldn't say anymore 'til I give you part four of my confessions  
  
I mean I'm just getting started here  
I'm not even half way down the list  
I mean this thing could go on for....(footsteps)  
Hey, hey where are you going?  
Honey? What? Was it something I said?(door opens and slams close)  
(Sigh) Women